He was with me from the beginning.  Ever since we came into existence.  For a long time, we were always in close proximity.  Same home, same family, same school, and same grade.  Always together.  Always so close.  Then, life moved on and took us in separate directions, as life does.  But, the sixth sense we’ve always had stayed strong.

I have always known when something is wrong.  I get this horrible, sickening sense that something is not right.  That something bad has happened.  Once, when I was a sophomore in college, and he said he had a horrible flu.  He hadn’t been able to get up for awhile.  I just always knew.  And it went both ways.  He would call me, “Adrienne.  Are you okay?  I just have a bad feeling.”  And I would tell him the struggles that I was enduring.  There has always been that connection.

I have seen him so happy.  Many times  When he met her our freshman year, he was like a schoolkid again.  They dated and married.  They were always doing things and making adventures.  He loved her.  But, she was very sick.  And then one day, the feeling came to me.  Something was bad wrong.  She was sick.  Very sick.  For months, she fought, but she lost.  And then I had to watch him grieve.  It was horrible.

I saw him in the depths of darkness, the likes of which I could not understand.  My heart ached.  I encouraged him.  And I prayed.  So hard.

God, please give him someone new when he’s ready.  Someone special.  Someone who can make him live again.  Smile again.  Be happy again. 

He moved through darkness, struggling.  For the first time, there was nothing I could do for him.  And then I suffered my own horrible loss.  Death is so cruel.  And he and I stayed up for hours one night talking.  He opened up to me about his own struggle with death, and I understood. Though the circumstances were different, there was so much we could understand.

A long time later, I skipped down the steps in my parents’ house, but he didn’t hear me.  He was completely absorbed.  I peered over his shoulder and saw it.  Catholic Match.  Before I could help it, I jumped on the couch next to him, grinning.  “You weren’t supposed to see”  But, I smiled.  “I kept telling you to get on!  How long?”  He had just registered within the week.  I was thrilled.  And nervous for him.  Heaven only knows what a huge leap of faith that was for him.

I begged him to see her profile.  He made me promise not to tell anyone and turned the computer to me.  I read her profile.  I was appalled.  Everything was a perfect fit.  And she was beautiful!

“If you don’t marry her, I will kill you.”

He laughed and told me to slow down.  He was deciding if he was going to message her.  I insisted that he do–you never know.  And it can’t hurt.

“And if you don’t marry her, I will kill you.”

He walked down the aisle to that woman on June 8th.  Never have I seen him so happy–smiling so much!  I wept through the Mass.  Tears of joy.  All I could keep thinking and whispering was, “Praise God.  Thank you, God!”  She is so thoughtful, so kind.  And so funny!  She fits in perfectly with our crazy family.  And she took a broken and shattered heart, and made it whole again.  She not just accepted his beautiful, broken story, but embraced it.  Aided him through hurt, helped make him whole again.  What a beautiful soul she is!

I wish them a future filled with as much joy and happiness as they felt on their wedding day.  That the bliss lives on.  I know that, when struggle of any kind inevitably arises, they are strong enough to prevail.  Because they are strong. They are Faithful.  And they put each other first.

God’s stories for us are so beautiful.  We can’t see it amidst the darkness, when it swirls around us.  But, He does answer prayers.  Especially those prayers said in the darkest recesses of a twins sister’s heart, a sister who sees a man who deserves another love story.  A man who will make a phenomenal father, a wonderful husband, and needs that new beginning.

And so he has it.  She has it.  They have it.  Love.  Joy.  God.

Thank you, Jesus.  Praise God! 

Look at that smile!

2 thoughts on “

  1. You and your twin are so beautiful. My heart broke for him, when after meeting him at Justin's wedding, I could sense there was such sadness in his eyes.

    It's funny, when he moved to FL I often invited him to come visit as I knew he was still figuring his life out, yet he never took me up on the offer. Little did I know that there was a lovely woman involved.

    I know that God will continue to bless your twin with his goodness. And he is so blessed to have you as his sister and womb mate.


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