Sunday. And she was being worse than usual. I was wrangling her, wrestling with her, shushing her. And she was talking, yelling, playing. She wanted up and she wanted down. She wanted to sit, stand, lie down. And I felt exhausted. And huge.
I took her out, finally, and found the bridal dressing room open. We went in and I put her on the couch, where she instantly laid her head down. She was tired. I figured. I couldn’t hear the Mass, and felt removed from everything. I didn’t like it.
Then, she came in. I’d never seen her before.
“Hi. I come down here to visit my son and his wife every few weeks. I just want to say that you are the most beautiful pregnant woman I’ve seen. That you still come to Church, even when you are juggling a toddler and everything else alone, is so beautiful. And I am constantly praying for you and for the safety of your husband. Can I help hold her?”
I don’t know how I didn’t cry, but that was the nicest thing I had heard since my husband left. It meant so much.
I never want to look like a victim during this deployment, because I’m not. I chose this. And I am proud of that. I never want to look beaten down, depressed, or weary. I may feel like that some days, but I always try to put on a cheerful face, a joyful countenance. Because my family deserves it, my Soldier deserves it. But, this life is hard, and sometimes it is a juggle–sometimes, being the only parent is a wrestling match.
And the prayers are what get us–get me–through.
I am so touched when people tell me they are praying for us. It means so much. Because, despite having toughed through 204 days, not one of those days has beaten me, has beaten my family. Despite the distance, despite the limited communication, despite not having held his hand in a long time, we are still moving forward. Happily, healthily, faithfully.
Thanks to the prayers.
So, those of you out there praying for my little family: thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Those I know, those I don’t. Those who are dear friends, and those who watch from afar. Thank you.
I’ve said it many times: the prayers are what get us through.