As I woke up to my screeching alarm clock the last few days, I have had the distinct feeling as my consciousness faded on that I had to do something big imminently. A few seconds would find me wondering what this big thing was. And then, as the immense realization hit me, I would sit upright in bed and force myself to calm down. The end is near. I have four and a half days left as a College Student.
I find myself asking constantly how I feel about this. There seems to be a general consensus in my Graduating Class of excitement and anticipation; I have a confession: I do not share the same feelings. Please understand me. I will not miss room checks nor will I find myself yearning to relive any Finals Weeks and chasing after that seemingly unattainable A. I will not desire the few times when horrible tests and papers were returned to me. But, there is a great deal of things I find myself already missing.
I will miss reaching out and spanning all of the classes, making friends and trying to know every name. I will miss the Coffee Nights in my room until three in the morning, laughing, worrying, and crying over stupid things that did not seem so stupid. I will miss opening my door, walking across the hall to my friends’ rooms or running over to another dorm to “study” with my girlfriends. I will miss the Classes, the pride of my Class, and the growing up I’ve undergone here. Most of all, though, I will miss the little building that sits at the center of the campus. How many tearful moments I’ve had in there, either beseeching him for an answer or grateful for his assistance. The Mass, when I have sat enraptured, time after time, as I felt Christ inside my very being.
I look very much foward to what I am called to do following this Saturday. I am terrified, anxious, and scared. But I am also excited, and only because I know God wants me to move on from this wonderful and bewitching place. Without the calling of God, I could never leave this place on my own accord. It has become my home.
I will miss my class. Never again will we be in the same place again. Life will prevent this through vocations and distance. So, in these last few days, I beseech God to make them go extremely slowly. I hope that the Senior Class of 2007 realizes the small and precious time we have left together as one entity. And when the time comes for us to move on and join the world, I hope we all leave one heck of a mark on souls, bringing them back to Christ in droves. But, most of all, I hope none of us forget what we learned here at Christendom College and that we do not forget each other.