Ok, so I worked on my Catholic Apologetics Presentation over Spring Break. This is our final and I signed up for the first day of presentations, wanting to get it out of the way. I thought I was being responsible over break, spending at least two solid hours at the computer (most days, it was three to four hours) every day. I all but finished it. The only thing left is to organize and tweak it. I came back, feeling quite good about myself. And then humility stepped in.
I arrived back from break on late Saturday. Sarah asked me if I was ready for my Marshner mid-term. Why the heck would I be ready for that test? It’s wasn’t for a couple of weeks. I knew I was wrong when she gave me a look of dread mixed with pity. It was in four days. And I hadn’t even started. I was way behind the power curve.
Sunday found me furiously typing the answers to the study guide. I was not making progress at all. I was having trouble hammering out the answers and proving my points. I began to freak. Monday, one of the girls on my hall split the study guide with me and we finished it. Upon a quick run through my notes and a glance at the study guide, I realized I still had much work to do.
I spent all my free time in my room studying for the test, not seeing much of anyone. For a social butterfly this is quite hard. I thrive on seeing and talking with other people, so it’s quite a sacrafice to lock myself in my room and deny myself my friends. But this time, I was so busy that I hardly noticed. I wonder if my friends did.
Wednesday night, the night before the test, I had a mandatory Junior class test. The only thing that consoled me was the free pizza and wine. That was really good. I ran back after that test and began again madly studying for Marshner. I was getting horribly worried. I wrote out essays, memorized definitions, pasted to memory scripture quotes and pieces from Saint Ignatius letters. I ran over and over my notes about Islam and learned how to spell various Muslim names and terms. Nothing was sticking. I was not going to do well.
In the middle of it all, I made time to go and talk to my CEO. He’s a really cool guy: He’s always there to give advice and He gives really cool bonuses. I went into His Office and just poured my soul out to Him about my current dilemma I didnt’ give Him much time to answer because I was rambling an awful lot (nerves will do that to you). He looked quite concerned and looked like He had everything in hand. I went back to work.
This morning, after a panic attack at breakfast, I went to my impending doom. Much to my nerves’ pleasure, Marshner was ten minutes late. This gave me one more chance: I ran upstairs to the office of my CEO again and pleaded with Him to help me. Again, He didn’t have much to say, He just looked quite concerned. I was very afraid.
I went back downstairs and Marshner arrived. When he placed the test on my desk, I sent a quick text message to my CEO. Once again, no words, just concern.
I looked at my test: I was appalled! I knew most of the objectives. Two of the four essays were ones which I had memorized. We had only to pick two essays. I was able to fudge on most of the objectives that I didn’t know. There was one that was not coming to me. I was worried. But, in the middle of my second essay, the answer flew into my head. I wrote it down. I finished my test and was the first one to leave.
I love my CEO! I know why He looked so concerned, too. He was worried about me! Imagine: a big, important CEO being concerned and worried about little me! I was quite flattered! He was also probably a little hurt that I didn’t trust Him enough when it came to my job. He’s not a mean boss; He obviously has my best interests at heart and, being my boss, knows exactly what I need. I think I forget about this too much.
So, my CEO saved the day again. I love having little conferences with Him. Especially, when He tells me about His worries. Sometimes, He even tells me other people in this big corporation who need love or help. I am so glad that I belong to this organization and have such an incredible, caring, and loving CEO. He’s perfect!